Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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