My sheets look like a crime scene.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
