My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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