we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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