Even the bartender felt bad for me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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