There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
