You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
