my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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