also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
