they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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