Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
