Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
