remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
