I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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