I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
