don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
