Umm I'm too high to move.
i just google imaged poop.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
