Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
