I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
