she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize