I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
