you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
