We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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