she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize