My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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