I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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