I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just google imaged poop.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
