I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
