hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
