Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
