It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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