I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
