So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I am naked and annoyed.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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