How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
