Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
