just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
