they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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