Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
