I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
