He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
