Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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