she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
