i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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