She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
