What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
