I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
