If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
