I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
