Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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