the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
