maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
