Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
