just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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